axel.
she hated herself. yeah, she definitely hated herself. it took her few days to even muster up the courage for the thing she was doing right now. she was trying to convince herself that she doesn’t need the stupid notebook anyway, but  she was wrong and now she had to go get it. the whole idea frightened her, but she had to do it. yes. it was the thing she had to do and she will just walk there, find him and demand that he gives her the notebook back. hopefully he still had it. he had to have it, otherwise she had no idea what she would do. that notebook was important. maybe she shouldn’t have given it to him in the first place, but she was angry and therefore thinking irrationally. yes. she walked in the house and a guy approached her in a matter of seconds. she smiled at him, remaining calm when she asked him about axel. apparently he knew him and he pointed her towards the pool, which was slightly weird, but she had to do it. after all, she was there now. she entered the huge room and closed the doors behind her. yeah, this was making her feel all kinds of uncomfortable. she walked forward and her eyes were on him. he was alone; he was turned into another direction, swimming. she wasn’t sure what to do, so she just walked to the other side of the pool and looked at him. when he finally noticed her, she smiled at him. it was a tiny smile, but it was there. “hi,” she said, simply because she needed to say something. “listen, I don’t want to disturb you or anything, really, I am sorry for that, but I would be very grateful if you could just give me my notebook back… and then I’m gone,” she promised. well, that was it. and she didn’t call him an idiot yet, so that was good too.

she knew that the whole thing was going to be quite awkward, but she had no idea just how much. she didn’t expect him to be half naked and swimming in a pool. she didn’t fail to notice that in fact, they had a friggin pool. why didn’t their house have a pool? she would absolutely love it! she liked swimming. her thoughts wandered again and she pulled herself together, focusing her eyes on him. she already did all the things you were not supposed to do when you meet someone, so she was relatively safe. besides, she knew he wouldn’t be too happy to see her, so she was able to prepare herself and she just felt a bit annoyed when he told her to move. she did that and looked at him before realizing that she actually probably shouldn’t and looked at a random title on the floor. he spoke again and got her full attention. she was a little impatient now. not that scared – well, it was still weird seeing him like that and it was also somehow enjoyable, even though she would never admit that, but she wasn’t afraid and it was a step forward. “are you always in such mood or is it just because of stuff I said the other day?” she asked before stopping herself. no, she wasn’t going to let him intimidate her. he obviously realized he could, but she was going to put an end to that. “look, I am sorry, okay? and I am grateful for your help and I should’ve thanked you then,” she went on, because she was a kind of person who always apologized when she did something wrong, “and nick said you were in here for like, two hours and a half now, so I was kinda hoping you would be done by now. and even if you’re not, I would really, really appreciate it if you could just… take some time and give me my notebook back. please?”

she didn’t bother replying to his words – after all, she was smart enough to figure out that he wasn’t even being serious. he was a fascinating person somehow and she found herself wanting to run as fast and as far away from him as possible. god, she was pathetic. her eyes were on him when he made his remark and for the first time she smiled with honestly. “well, I don’t really care about whatever sign of weakness I am showing. apologizing is a polite thing to do when you tell someone they are an idiot, even though you did kinda mean it.” she pushed her hair away nervously and then looked at him. ah, what the hell. “and I am not all that good with people. obviously,” she pointed out and sighed. she felt comfortable around her book and she loved that. she didn’t like people all that much; they were complicated. she nodded her head as he told her where her notebook was. there. that was all. she could go now, right? but his question caught her unprepared. “yeah,” she smiled and her whole face lighted up, “there was that huge pool back at the gymnasium my parents were teaching at and it was completely empty in the evenings so I used to sneak in. it was lovely; getting away from everything and all,” she blurted out before realizing what was she doing. his question caught her unprepared; she couldn’t help herself. “but I should be really going now,” she realized. he wanted her out of there; of course he did. she turned her back and then looked him back in the eyes. “hazel. my name.” not that it mattered, but still.

she smiled. “yeah, but it wasn’t the whole truth,” she reminded him and shrugged. he was an idiot, but she probably overreacted anyway. she tended to do that; she was impulsive sometimes and it was usually at all the wrong times. “I seriously doubt that. besides, I don’t know who noelle is, so I am quite sure I win,” she smiled again; somehow all of this was getting easier. was she getting comfortable with him? that was a bit hard to believe, especially because they weren’t exactly on friend terms to begin with, but she felt much more… herself. she was usually annoyed because she had the image of the person she wanted to be in her head and she could never really be that with people. it was a nice offer he made; but she shouldn’t accept it, she knew that. that’s why she started to move; to walk away, to finally give him what he wanted and to leave him alone, but then he spoke again and her eyes were on him again; this time there was surprise on her face. “really? I mean, I… okay,” she accepted without thinking twice. she was doing this new thing: doing three things that scared her per day. and with her coming here, she already had one thing crossed. this was another. she walked toward the direction he pointed and changed; she wasn’t sure how the dark swimsuit suited her, but she didn’t even care anymore. she grabbed her hair into a loose ponytail and walked toward the pool with much more relaxed expression in her face. she stood by the pool for few seconds and then she jumped and she felt like the weight of the world fell off her shoulders. she came on the surface when she ran out of air; there was a huge grin on her face this time. he was still standing outside and she turned to him. “why do I look like a hazel?” she wondered and moved in the water. god, she loved that so much. “also, I am afraid I’ll have to ask you to borrow me a towel of some sort,” she added after realizing she would need it eventually.

she just smiled at him. hazel was the name of her great-grandmother and she was one of her favorite people, even though she knew her only for a short while. but she was smart, way ahead of her time and absolutely beautiful, even when she was old – hazel always felt honored to be named after her. she kept the story for herself and observed him as he joined her in the water. he seemed interesting. he seemed way nicer now or maybe it was just the calming effect the water had on her. “good,” she smiled when he promised the towel to her. she felt extraordinary in water, even though she still wasn’t sure how exactly she felt about him. she was trying to put everything behind her, though. she was, after all, a nice person. or at least that was what she wanted to believe. she looked at him as he spoke. there was a gentle smile on her face. “don’t worry about it,” she spoke after a few seconds of thinking. “I mean, it wasn’t entirely your fault. I just… I was never used to people wanting to help me for some reason. also, I don’t really know how to deal with people anyway and I promise I am usually not that rude,” she smiled. well, she was just scared of people most of the time, that was all. she wouldn’t have the guts to walk to someone like he did. “and after all, you are quite likable,” she observed with a tiny smile on her face. well, at least he was now.

her gaze was on him. he seemed to be much happier now and that wide smile kinda fit him. it lighted up his whole face and then she realized she was almost staring at him so she quickly removed her gaze. she opened her mouth to say something; to reply to his words and tell him that he might have been right, but then she decided she won’t say anything. it was better to leave that in the past anyway and she wasn’t the kind of person who would gladly bring up such stuff. she looked at him as he went on and mentioned her previous words. this time she had to reply. “well, it’s just… people don’t hit on me? and you weren’t hitting on me anyway, so…” she smiled. she didn’t want to go into all of that. people weren’t usually hitting on her and if by some miracle they were, they quickly realized it was a waste of time. “never mind me, I say a lot of things. especially when I’m confused or stressed or… anything, really,” she assured him. “I didn’t mean to confuse you, tho,” she smiled and then she wasn’t sure what to say or how to reply to his comment about her being likable, so she looked at him for few seconds, speechless, until she pulled herself together. “that’s a rare comment. I’m usually all about books and science and you know, stuff like that. people tend to label me as a nerd and that’s it,” she admitted. well, she was a nerd, right? but that was okay with her. she smiled to herself again and then moved her body in the water. god, she loved swimming.  

all of this was a bit unusual for her, but that was okay too, right? she didn’t feel all kinds of uncomfortable this time and she was relaxed and she actually felt good, somehow. it was just water. it had to be; there was no other logical explanation to that. then he distracted her when he started to talk and she just kept her steady gaze on her. finally, she smiled and shook her head. “well, I don’t have any comment to that. I mean, I have no idea what to say. are you sure? I honestly don’t know, but… yeah,” she somehow managed not to sound too confused about that. what was he talking about? she wasn’t that kind of a girl, right? “but I can assure you I don’t daydream that often. there is a lot of scientific stuff going on in my head. and okay, maybe a tad bit of daydreaming,” she admitted with a smile on her face. “yeah, okay, I get it. I seriously don’t need to know,” she said a bit too quickly as he explained himself. “I don’t mean to be rude, but people tend to confuse me and the whole relationships thing is really messy,” she explained what she meant. honestly, it was a bit scary as well. feelings got hurt really fast and people were disappointed and she usually avoided that topic. he made her laugh with his next words – the first time since she kinda met him. “yeah, you win. you are definitely one step higher,” she grinned. “but you do come off a little arrogant. even though I do understand what you mean,” she said and pushed a wet hair strand away. she looked at him as he broke the silence and nodded. “yeah, I’m from leigh. greater manchester?” she said and then smiled. “england,” she confirmed. “and your accent… somewhere in the states?”

“yeah, you are right,” she smiled. he was right – again. he was actually quite a smart guy, but then again, she already knew that. she just wasn’t really used to people agreeing with her point of view, mostly because they didn’t do that often. she was watching him with a bit of fascination in her eyes, but that didn’t matter anyway because he was too busy making water circles to notice anyway. she was a bit surprised with the way his words were going, even though she couldn’t deny the fact that she was also a tiny bit flattered by his words. she didn’t let that get to her, though. she knew how to keep her thoughts straight and she didn’t feel anything like that towards him – right? right. “um, okay,” she said, clearly a little confused again. “this would be enough of that topic,” she smiled, because she partly didn’t take his words all that serious and partly she just didn’t know how to deal with them. with him. with everything that was happening. the easiest thing was just to go on with the conversation. “you are too impatient, as far as I can tell,” she said and looked at him, “I mean, you could’ve given me some time. you could’ve asked nicely. but I am not really the one to lecture you about patience,” she admitted. she was a horribly impatient person when it came to people doing stuff the wrong way and she would’ve probably done the same thing. “no one has,” she smiled. leigh was an awfully tiny town. he had all her attention as he mentioned where he was from and she didn’t even realize she moved towards him in the water. “new york? oh wow. so you got to see the metropolitan museum,” she pointed out, clearly interested in that topic.

there was something on the way he was looking at her – she couldn’t name it, not really and there was still a possibility that she was just imagining it, but she felt a bit weird as he was gazing at her. it was… different? she didn’t even want to go into that and she made sure that she avoided that topic in her mind. it was easier that way. she smiled at his ‘okay’; this time it was a quick smile, because she wasn’t sure what else to do or say and she just wanted to get away from the topic which was kinda making her nervous and confused altogether. she was glad to pick up his next words as a cue. “I guess so,” she responded with a wider smile on her face. “well, it depends when. I can also be the most patient person when it comes to experiments and books.” it was definitely all about books with her, yes; but he didn’t need to hear that because he probably figured it out by himself. she slightly tilted her head as he spoke again; clearly a bit confused as in why was she quite something. what did that even mean? well, she knew she wasn’t going to ask. “I could help you with your cells…” she slowly said and looked at him, “if you promise to be… nicer? more patient? you know, something like that,” she couldn’t help herself – she had to say it. “anyway, I don’t think you will have any problems finding me now that you know who I am… so yeah, you do that,” she smiled, “so, until then,” she said – it was a farewell because he was obviously going somewhere and she was determined not to stare at him again, so she turned her back and decided that she will swim for a little while. until now she was just being in the water, probably smiling like an idiot – but it was time to do some real swimming and she was excited about that.

finished.