she was walking to her sorority house. it was late; it was awfully late, but they decided to keep the library open till midnight and she was not complaining. she was sitting there, getting lost in books and making sure that all her calculations were right. maths was causing her some problems last week, but it seemed like she was over that now. she remembered why she loved it and she felt much, much better. she walked with a grin on her face. she figured it was too late for anyone else to be outside so she felt relatively safe and lovely, even though she was a bit cold in her simple dress with light jacket. at least she put on her boots instead of sneakers. she was carrying her books and eventually she got lost in her thoughts like she always did. maybe that’s why she didn’t hear footsteps behind her – or maybe she just assumed it was someone harmless; someone who will just walk past her. maybe someone who was stuck in the library until the very last hour like her. or maybe she was just too naïve to ever expect anyone to come at her, but that was exactly what happened. without a warning she felt strong arms around her. she dropped the books, feeling her heartbeat go crazy in her chest after a few seconds when it stopped. she begged him to let her go; it was a guy, much stronger than her. and she knew it wasn’t going to end well. she was struggling; she heard herself scream and then she was begging for him to let go of her and then she was crying for help. she was never more terrified; cold fear was grabbing her heart and she knew she had to put up a fight if she wants to come out of that, but it was impossible. he was bigger and stronger and she was just a weak girl, frozen because of fear. she cried out for help once more and felt tears running down her lips when the guy grabbed her hands and pulled her somewhere behind him.
axel. 

she was never more afraid in her whole life. this was too much for her; one moment she was holding her books and without any care thinking about her homework and in the next moment there was this huge stranger, trying to… trying to do what? she was frightened and she was able to feel her whole body shaking like crazy while she was trying to fight the guy off and screaming unrecognizable mix of pleads and threats and also things that didn’t even matter. and then someone else screamed; she was free and falling until someone else was holding her and she was still shaking and being very much frightened. “no,” she was struggling again until she recognized the voice and remained completely still, trying to breathe and at the same time still shaking like crazy. “ax – axel,” she said, not even knowing when did she manage to wrap her hands around him in a hug which was more like her hiding; her head was by his neck, probably making it wet with her tears, but then again, she didn’t care about that either. “I… I’m okay,” she said, her voice clearly broken and lost because of all the screaming she did in the past few moments. “I mean…” she shook her head, sobbing. “I am not okay.” everything was wrong. her arms hurt; the other guy was strong and pulling her behind him was a very painful experience for her and she was pretty sure it was going to leave bruises. “I’m scared.” she tried to hug herself; her eyes were blankly staring in front of her, reliving the past few moments and crying silently; she was way too scared and frightened to do anything else.

there would be a hint of a smile on her face at any other given moment. his statement was so obvious and so clear that she almost felt the need to laugh because of it, but she was way too scared for that. besides, he was right, she was shaking and she still felt her heart beating really hard. she almost felt like it would leave a bruise on her ribcage. she nodded as he asked her a question. questions were good, she could deal with them. it was also nice to distract her thoughts from the fear that was still creeping inside of her. “yeah, I – I am. I probably… hit him. or something,” her sentence was much more complete this time. she was trying really hard to pull herself together. she was scared, she was crying and all of a sudden she started to feel pain everywhere the other guy touched her. “bruises,” she murmured to herself; the answer to the unspoken question of the reason for the pain. he was holding her strong enough and she was pretty sure that her skin will resemble that. she wasn’t used to pain – it frightened her on a whole new level and she didn’t even realize that axel was holding her and the touch was so different than the previous one that she didn’t even notice; not really, not until her eyes were gazing into his and she hugged herself to do something; anything, maybe just protect herself, even though she doubted that that will work. he made her look at him and her eyes were panicky looking around until she closed them when he stopped talking. “I… I know. but he was here. and if it wouldn’t be for you…”her voice broke and she finally looked at him. “I want to trust you,” she said and another feeling appeared in her eyes. everything that happened between them… confusion was mixing with her fear. “you…” it was a whisper; it was a question and also something else.   

she was finally able to breathe normally. it took her few long moments, but she did it and now she was listening to her heartbeat. was it really that loud? it felt like her heart was going to explode, even though she was well aware of the fact that it couldn’t be quite possible. she was… she was okay, yes, she was. and axel was there and he made her feel all sorts of stuff but most importantly for that moment: he made her feel safe. “it is okay…” her voice was still quiet – whispers in the night, but it was there and she knew that even if it felt like the end of the world, she was going to survive. “I was just walking home from the library and he… came out of nowhere and he was so… strong,” there were pauses in between her words for sobs, but they were shorter and shorter now. she was still going in a weird moments of complete clarity of what just happened every now and then; there was a terror on her face when she lived through the moments again, even though she was trying really hard not to. “yeah,” she whispered, somehow still suspicious of everything. she moved away with her body a little; there was something horrified in her eyes as she carefully observed their surroundings, not being able to shake the weird feeling off completely. he pressed a finger to her lips and that touch was… weirdly comforting for her; just to feel something nicer and all of a sudden she moved; in the next second she was hugging him tightly and she finally stopped sobbing; her hands were around him and she didn’t even care that her body is still lightly shaking. “away,” she finally whispered; her lips touching his neck because she was that close to him. “please, axel, just…” she didn’t know what she was trying to say. instead of finding the words, she just looked at him, hoping that he would understand.