tag; nyah

a whole bunch of them used to come to this old god-forsaken cottage on the edge of the woods. to chill, to smoke, to escape from the wonderful college life. he still waited for his cell to light up with a new message, a confirmation. he sent her a text half an hour ago and waited her since then like some pathetic love-stricken pup. she did this often. left him waiting until he went mad and started calling her and calling her until she eventually had to pick up the phone. he lit up another cigarette and threw the plastic lighter all the way across the room so it bounced of the wooden wall to the floor. he probably broke it. ''stupid,'' he murmured under his breath and got himself out of an old armchair that was probably a home for a few different species of little tiny crawling animals. ew. he walked across the room and opened the front door just in time to see a car being parked next to his. fashionably late? he leaned himself onto the door frame and waited slightly bit more patiently as she took her time. it always managed to surprise him how he never got enough of this. it was pure drama, the two of them. they never seemed to get completely along and yet they were completely in sync.  when she was finally walking towards the cottage he moved a few steps further. ‘’you could’ve texted me back, nyah,’’ he spoke up in a very much irritated voice but his lips were already forming an all-knowing smirk.

where did she find such a short skirt? he was almost sure that this kind of length was illegal in a few states back in america. however he didn’t complain. at all. his eyes followed her up the stairs, that skirt inching further up with every step. fuck. he always understood why guys were lining up to get their chance with her – they were practically drooling each time she showed up at one of the frat parties. most of the nights he was the one pining her to the bed, sometimes she got herself another guy. which usually bugged him but for very particular reasons. he liked to think that he was her anchor, the one person she would let close if she wanted to. the one person she would trust to if there was something unbearable lying on her consciousness. ‘’and people say I’m a jerk,’’ he rolled his eyes at her bitchy response. she was already taking his cigarette away from him and he managed to do at least one last inhale. ‘’it’s nice to see you too… especially in that skirt. it’s awfully short…’’ he pondered and swiftly turned around to walk behind her back to the inside of the cottage. and stared the whole time down at the sway of her hips. she was such a tease to him, always. she knew that his limit was never particularly high when it came to her. he couldn’t even remember when this thing started. freshman year of high school? ‘’I’m... kind of in a bad mood,’’ he started to answer and he didn’t exactly prolong the true reason behind his text and invitation her. he stood in front of her as she leaned back on the wall. ‘’I ran across zoey yesterday,’’ he started, the name very well known to both of them. after all zoey was the only one of his girlfriend for who he put on a stop to this relationship between him and nyah. ‘’I drunk dialed her last week. again. she got fed up with it all, so we talked,’’ he distractedly started to explain when his fingers were following the lower line of that sinister skirt.

''you are a bitch about 99% of the time, so you win,'' he sighed knowing that no insult could possibly bring her out. she was so high above everything. above all the rules, morals, emotions. she was living her own life and playing her own game and she cared about no one else. maybe he really was that one person that has been in her life for the longest time, but he still meant nothing. ''yeah, you can't...'' he murmured in reply as she suddenly stopped herself in the middle of a suggestive idea and changed her tune. ''well. you usually keep me from doing that by keeping me busy. but you weren’t at that party with me. oh. no. you actually left early. glued to some guy with a beer belly of all things,’’ his tone was slightly judgmental. but this sort of things happened often – they go somewhere together and then she miraculously finds herself some other company and goes home with a complete stranger. this was her way of proving to him that he meant nothing to her, he was sure of that. every now and then when things between them started to borderline on anything with a slight resemblance to a relationship, she did everything in her power to make it clear they weren’t exclusive. and he played along. ‘’she wanted to clear everything up – why I keep drunk dialing her and why I talk to her at the parties when I’m drunk out of my mind and then I ignore her…’’ he started to explain: ‘’apparently last week I said that I fucked us up. and… I don’t know. we talked about that I guess. it’s not like you care about my love life.’’ she moved away a while ago, but only now did he notice the absent of the heated thigh beneath his hand. ‘’why did you move all the way across the room?’’ he went and sat down into his good old armchair, looking at her. ‘’I’m not up for your ‘hot and cold, hide and seek, come and get me’ games today, nyah.’’

‘’as if you had grown up. please. comparing the two of us, you’re a bigger child than I ever was – you’re constantly craving for attention. that’s basically the mentality of five year olds who are causing havoc and screaming ‘look at me, look at me’,’’ he was harsher than intended but she was used to this. that was why he felt no need to apologize. he simply looked away from her while she smoked on his cigarette. always so grabby his nyah. ‘’as long as it was a good fuck. that’s really the only thing that matters,’’ he scoffed with slight disgust. ‘’charming? how the fuck is a beer belly charming? he had a beer belly!’’ he was suddenly settling his hands on his knees, raising his voice a tad. he could understand if she had left with a fucking abercrombie model, but the guy had a beer belly. where the hell was charm in that? ‘’yeah well. I’m definitely in some deep shit if I’ll start pining after my ex again,’’ he then nodded, his brows raised high. he wasn’t pining after her right? he was over zoey? right? ‘’it’s just that zoey is… she’s… you know how it was. she was different,’’ he sighed and shook his head. of course she knew. he even put a stop to what they had because of her and he never did that for any other of his girlfriends. he eventually cheated on them with nyah, usually after a few days sometimes even sooner. ‘’I just needed some company…’’ he shrugged and settled back into his armchair. ‘’don’t you ever get tired? of constantly pretending? I liked you much better when you were fifteen and we first started… um, hanging around,’’ he changed the last words a bit and displayed a crooked smile on his lips. when they first started fucking each other would be the correct sentence, though.

there were moments when he wanted to walk out of her life. just to see what kind of a reaction he will get. despite their continuous fights they never said they were done. he usually walked out of the room and she usually went to ignoring him for a while. but never did they say they were done. he wondered what she would do if he decided he had enough. because sometimes he already had enough and sometimes it would be so much easier if he could just erase her out of his life. but then he remember how much he in fact cared about her and her well-being. so that’s why he was always back to the starting point. ‘’what if something happens to you when you on your nightly escapade with some hulky guy? that would be on me,’’ he replied and then imitated her eye-rolling gesture when she spoke up in a over-sugary voice. ‘’i know you don’t like her. and I’ll never understand why, since she was always great to you. plus it’s impossible not to like her. and yes, she is oh-so-amazing and perfect. I’m an idiot for letting us break up…’’ he pondered for a moment over his last words. it wouldn’t make a difference though, besides it was better this way. he looked up when she moved and walked towards him in a cat like manner. such a tease. without complaints he wrapped his arm around her waist, his shoulder there to support her head. his other hand already settled on her bare thighs, his fingers drawing little circles on the skin. ‘’I think you do,’’ he said back still with a slight frown on his forehead. she was pretending. he had no idea what she was really like, hadn’t he? ‘’I will always like you,’’ he sighed and nuzzled his face into the dark curls beside her cheeks, his lips eventually grazing the skin of her jaw. ‘’you really do play me like a violin, dear.’’

‘’of course you do,’’ he just murmured a soft reply, but it was obvious he didn’t agree with her at all. despite everything he still always felt the need to protect her – even if she didn’t need protection nor want it. ‘’you are perfectly fine on your own and you don’t need anyone. right?’’ followed a cynic reply as he shook his head a little. she was really brave, he admired that about her. she went through a lot in her childhood and now she was… he wanted to see her as this amazing woman with an incredible charisma, a survivor. but because of her attitude and her actions she still appeared as a lost little girl. ‘’whatever…’’ he finished the talk about zoey, not willing to seek a fight over this. zoey was in his eyes pretty much perfect and nyah knew that. he’s going to leave it at that because talking about his ex-girlfriend was a bit of a buzz kill. ‘’since when? everyone always tells me I don’t think things through. and now I think too much?’’ his voice was honestly curious, he wasn’t mocking her words. he was genuinely interested in why she thought that? did it bother her that he was trying to analyze her? his hand crept to the inner side of her thigh, his fingers admiring the silky skin. his eyes stayed fixed on her, even when she was nibbling his neck with her teeth. that was when a suffocated groan escaped his throat. ‘’nyah…’’ he started to say and was right there on the edge between incoherence and reason, he was prepared to drag her completely on his lap and find out what underwear she was wearing beneath that short skirt. if any at all. but her question surprised him. ‘’yes. yes, I do. but that is something that will never happen…’’ he was always honest with her, even when she would rather hear a bunch of lies. his hand disappeared under the hem of her skirt, his thumb was now hooked under the string of the lace. ‘’right now, however, I want you,’’ he raised his chin up and captured her lips in a kiss and for a first time in years he was actually gentle when it came to her.

‘’I think about you all the time, you know that,’’ he chuckled against her skin, finally breaking out of the weird blue mood. he still wasn’t as relaxed and at peace as he usually was with her, but he had a lot on his mind. he always enjoyed being beside her, whether they were having a hard time or one of their honeymoon phases. funny. ordinarily he was a very cheerful person, almost over the top. but with her he always got a few levels more serious. ‘’oh, but I do. and I should,’’ he chuckled. he thought about her too much probably, worried constantly and always searched her with his eyes at parties to make sure she was okay. he never told her he was actually watching out for her or watching over her, but he always appeared by her side if someone got too friendly with their hands or she got herself into a catfight. ‘’I’ll probably want you tomorrow too… and the day after that and the day after that. just like I wanted you yesterday and the day before and before,’’ he continued and pulled the tiny string a bit down, but she was already moving, going along with his plans as if she had read his mind. this was the thing about them, the thing that made them so perfect. he didn’t have to explain anything to her, didn’t have to dictate anything. she always just knew what he was thinking and what he wanted. her kisses were anything but gentle. maybe he even surprised her with his gesture. ‘’nyah, slow it down,’’ he moved back, inhaling deeply. her scent was all around him, the greatest suffocation really. his grip was tight on her hips and he leaned his head back on the armchair with eyes half-closed and heart beating impossibly fast. focus. ‘’it can be different,’’ he muttered as his right hand slid behind her neck and pulled her back towards him, insisting on a slow torturous kiss again. with his free hand he efficiently tried to unclasp the belt of his black jeans and then started to pull at her underwear impatiently. ages ago he lost count of how many of her panties he tore apart because he never could figure how properly pull them down. ‘’ugh, take that thing off,’’ he groaned and pushed them both up while reaching into his back pocket for a condom. he got the thing out and dropped the wrapper into her lap. she did say she’ll take care of him, didn’t she?

‘’you really don’t believe me,’’ he absently whispered, surprised by her obvious sarcasm. she tended to refuse any compliments of this sort, but not with such conviction. ‘’nyah, listen to me,’’ he cupped her face, his lips mere millimeters away from hers. ‘’I think about you all the time. I’m not joking, I’m not lying to get you under me. I really do think about you… as to why… well. you’re amazing,’’ he gave her a sincere wide smile, his eyes dropping down to her lips, pressing a torturously slow kiss on them. his teeth nipped her lower lip just a little, his hands moving from her neck to her hips, grinding her on top of him. ‘’yeah,’’ he paused to answer her question. any other answer was impossible for him to even imagine. was there ever a time when he didn’t want her? didn’t need her? didn’t crave her scent, her body, her touch every single minute? there was only one time when he suppressed that constant need to have her not more than an arm’s length away. and it was because of zoey. but his ex was now completely forgotten as he smiled and kissed the frown on her forehead. ‘’I’m not sure if I should be worried about that spark in your eyes, love,’’ he laughed as she stood up and followed her movement with his eyes. how she rose the skirt up and then slowly pulled her dress off. ‘’will I be able to convince you not to wear underwear someday? because as much as I love all those lacy things and buttons and stuff… free access is much better. and a great way to torture me on public places,’’ he spoke, feasting in her almost bare body. she kneeled down and his mind suddenly became clear and hazy all at once. this wasn’t what he thought with ‘different’. this was the usual them, her desire to give, his desire to deliver. it was just slower. he reached towards her back and undid the clasp of her bra, that it fell down to the floor. that was better. he gritted his teeth together as she placed her hands on the top of his thighs and grazed the skin with her fingers. she really was something. he leaned back with a half-silenced groan as her lips barely touched the tip of his erect cock. if he knew her well, then she will torture him to the breaking point. he lifted her hips slightly up, his gaze set on her eyes. his hand was somewhere in her hair, fisting them together, firmly but not painfully. her tongue will kill him, her mouth will end him, he was sure of it. ‘’nyah…’’ he started to stay and pulled her head a bit back to make her pause and give him a break. ‘’change of plans. turn around,’’ he said in a hoarse tone but she knew better than to contradict him now: ‘’turn around and sit on my lap.’’

‘’shut up, babe,’’ he chuckled as she tried to comprehend where di d the sudden change of their usual routine come from. he was mostly all for quick and dirty sex they usually had, wherever they had it. however he didn’t like how her gaze often went completely blank and emotionless. this was different, her she had to feel everything, had to control everything. and well yes, her on her knees and in control was about the sexiest thing he ever had a pleasure to witness. ‘’it’s so pretty and so useless. and usually ends up torn on the floor. it’s a waste of money and panties. and of time,’’ he explained with a sigh and glanced the already discarded underwear lying there forgotten on the floor. see? where was the use in her wearing her when around him? it always ended up there, useless thing.

she stood up and he was about to let out a sly satisfied smile that she will listen to him at least for once, but she obviously had her own plans. ‘’nyah,’’ his voice held warning but his far too gone to be whiny and insulted right now. his hands settled on her caramel skin as she lowered herself on his lap. ‘’do you – damn – always, uh, have to be so stubborn?’’ he rasped out as she sank down on him, her ass cheeks completely pressed to his thighs. ‘’fuck,’’ he murmured at her first move but rose up to meet her. ‘’this would feel even… better, if you had listened to me,’’ he raised his head up to kiss those lips that always drove him crazy. she was fucking perfect and she didn’t even know it.

he frowned and looked up as her nails scraped his skin. she will never listen to him? that was just sad. they were friends for the longest time. he has never let her down so far. but she will never listen to him. yes, her words were pointed to the sex. but he couldn’t help but to read further into this. with nyah he always did. any other girl he would just chuckle and fuck her senseless until she would be willing to listen to him and to do basically anything for him. she had the strongest will and she was right. ‘’you torture me so…’’ he rasped as her forehead connected with his, her hips rising and pushing down in a stable rhythm. whatever she did to him, it was beyond his control. every time he tried to take over she pulled back so he let her be the boss. he pressed his nape back to the armchair when she slightly changed the angle. ‘’nyah, fuck,’’ he was able to get that out before switching over to the state of losing control. maybe she sped up, maybe he took over. with her his brain never did much thinking. it was pure instinct. perhaps he was too rough again, pounding into her without any sense of gentleness. but he truly believed he always gave her exactly what she needed. he felt her tense as he claimed her mouth with a rough kiss, his hands bruising her ribs and her hips. she went rigid on top of him, every part of her pulsing everywhere around. he pounded in for the last time then forced himself to still, his breathing over the charts, heart beating impossibly fast. he softened his touch on her body, pulled her with him when leaning back. ‘’never doubt it.’’

he let her rest her head on his chest, his hands roaming gently through the dark curls. ‘’you never do,’’ he murmured back, his voice holding a tint of affection. it was so like him to say the strangest things in the strangest moments. it was just the way his mind thought. it was part of his writing side. how me thought of a perfect sentence in the middle of a conversation and them just blurted it out. no one knew what he was talking about, but he usually dashed away quickly to write it down. they were short sentence, to him full of meaning. as was the one before. ‘never doubt it.’ never doubt that he thinks of her, that he cares, that he wants, needs, must have. her. it was all about her and she would wave it all away if he explained. ‘’mhm, it was,’’ he nodded absently and looked down just to find her looking back. which was another surprise. usually at this time she already started to pick her clothes up from the floor, started to dress up and was preparing to make a quit exit. now she was still lying on top of him in his lap, not rushing anywhere. ‘’me?’’ he repeated, confused. he wasn’t the amazing one here. far from it. ‘’um, so…’’ he started to say not fully knowing how to do this after-talk thingy. they were the same, they both bolted. even when having amazing sex with each other, one or the other pulled a stop to everything and they were back to being obnoxiously idiotic. ‘’we should go out this weekend. or thursday. maybe you can ask that friend of yours if she wants to come with? Joanna or whatshername?’’ there he was. being a douche again.