he was wandering around the campus and then he just somehow ended up sitting on the bench inside the university building. he was quite bored, to be honest; he was waiting for something to happen and he had no idea what, so he was just looking around until he got bored with that and pulled his phone out of his pocket and started playing angry birds. he had a lot of time before his lecture started. he liked the professor, though. it was fun and he made everything sound quite easy and he wasn’t a pain in the ass, so that was good.

his eyes wandered around and all of a sudden he spotted a person walking on the hallway towards him. well, in his direction would probably be more accurate. it was perry! and she looked really nice! and he realized he was staring at her and was battling with himself for few moments whether he should just keep looking at her or pretend that he was busy with his phone. well, it really wasn’t a tough question. he smiled at her widely when she noticed him. ”hi, perry,” he greeted her and titled his head a little. she looked amazing as usual and he patted the empty spot on the bench. ”it is very nice to see you here!” he grinned.

her mini breakdown a few days ago was starting to drown in the memory as she was intent on pushing it away from her thoughts. it was a slip. a slip she couldn’t afford to happen again. her workload was high and she was constantly running between her room, the lectures hall and the library. there was barely anytime at all but she wasn’t oblivious to all the posters hanging on the walls all over campus. girls choice. a dance. it was stupid. pfff. dances are stupid. but the idea of dressing up into something pretty, wearing heels and drinking champagne… maybe it was nice. the valentine’s days itself made her throw up inside her mouth but the dance could be a good thing. it, however, meant she was supposed to ask someone to go with her. those were the thoughts spinning inside her head as she was leaving the library and picking the shortcut through the lectures hall back to the flats. he stood up before she could notice him and she had to calm her heartbeat down. embarrassed. she felt utterly embarrassed. he saw her at her weakest. he knew her achilles heel. he knew she was as lost as alice. ‘’hi,’’ she slowly greeted as if she forgot how to properly speak. she sat down beside him and rested the book on her lap. ‘’I’m sorry for last night…’’ an apology came out. she wasn’t quite sure what to say. one moment she was contemplating going to the dance, the next he was there before her. was it like a sign or something?

yeah, there was definitely something amazing about her. he couldn’t help himself but look at her with that sparkle in his eyes; he now believed she was special and their previous meeting just confirmed that for him. and maybe he was acting like an asshole, but she was so amazing and he was trying so hard and then he kept doing weird things and he couldn’t help himself! she was awesome! yes. and when she sat down next to him he could hardly keep calm because she sat down next to him and it was amazing and it made him really happy.

he frowned a little and then quickly shook his head. ”last night? what? no! don’t be sorry, come on, it’s okay,” he assured her and smiled at her. that was supposed to calm her down. ”you seem nervous,” he observed and worryingly frowned; his hand reached for hers in the next moment and he carefully touched her skin because he thought it might calm her down a little; it seemed like a good idea! ”are you okay?” he asked, genuinely worried for her. it was odd, but then again, jackson always tended to care for people and he grew attached to them quite quickly. ”I also really like what you’ve done with your hair!” he declared and smiled at her. there. compliments. it wasn’t that hard, was it? besides, he wasn’t just saying that – he really liked her hair. he really liked all of her!

did he even comprehend? how big last night was? it wasn’t about simply sitting in his lap or resting her head on his shoulder. that was the easy part. the proximity was easy to be dealt with. the weight of everything she said was what counted. ‘’it was wrong to lay it all out on you,’’ she continued as if not hearing him at all. her gaze moved down to his hand on hers and for the tiniest second she froze. his skin was still tanned from the bahamian sun. hers was creamy. they contrasted but still complemented each other. ‘’I am fine,’’ she quickly replied and was just as quick to look back up. ‘’I’ve been thinking about something before I saw you…’’ her voice got stronger again as the purpose of this conversation came to light. she should do this. she really should. her hand was still caught in his, which didn’t bother her at all. ‘’thanks,’’ she murmured to his compliment, by now used to all the flattery. ‘’valentine’s is next week,’’ a statement. ‘’and the sadie hawkins’ dance,’’ another one, an explanation. she took a deep breath before making the final announcement: ‘’I decided you are taking me there.’’

he frowned when she spoke again. ”perry, come on,” he sighed and his hand reached up. he had this habit of messing up his hair when he was nervous or worried or even frustrated. ”it happened. it is okay. it doesn’t make you weak or foolish or naïve or anything at all. and you can trust me, you should know that. and you will maybe think I’m a fool for saying that now, but if you ever need anything, you can always come to me, okay?” he was looking at her eyes now. it was a relief to see her like that; there was a spark in her eyes again. he was happy about that.

he smiled and nodded when he spoke again, but he remained quiet because he was curious what she was thinking about. it felt so good to be next to her like that; he partly managed to get over his fear and fascination with her – well of course that jut grew bigger and bigger, but it wasn’t at all bothering him or making him stop and stare when she said something. even though he probably still stared every now and then. he couldn’t help himself! ”wait you decided what?” he had to double check because maybe he was just dreaming. it would make sense! but she was there and he was holding her hand and it seemed more real than anything else in the world and he could already feel his lips forming the happiest smile ever when he nodded. ”yes! wait, do you mean that? yes! of course! that’s just… sure I will take you!” he was so excited about it! ”do I need to bring you flowers? I will bring you flowers! oh,” he said when he remembered, ”does that count as our date?”

‘’no, just… hear me out, okay?’’ she had to silence him, because she hasn’t even started. ‘’I know it happened. I know. and honestly I wished it hadn’t. it would be much easier on me if you weren’t there. it would be. but… it did happen,’’ her voice was fumbling around. it used to be really easy for her to find the right words, the sarcasm and little white lies were always right on the tip of her tongue. talking about how she really felt was however obviously a completely different story: ‘’but it did and… I am glad you were there. of all people, you. because I think I do or well, might be able to. in the future. trust you, that is. shit. I’m not making any sense, I’m just babbling.’’ now she was the one to mess her hair with her hair, slight frustration obvious. at his offer, she was dumbfounded a little once more so all she could do was nod. come to him, right, as if it was that easy! she looked down again, contemplating whether it would be best to pull her hand away. but it stayed there and she wasn’t sure who seemed to be more surprised – him or her? ‘’I decided you are taking me to the sadie hawkins’ ball on the valentine’s day,’’ she repeated just in case he actually didn’t hear her. there were little bursts of excitement in her chest and in her belly but she made sure to hide them. a ball. exciting. girly, but exciting. ‘’yes, okay,’’ she nodded, feeling like a complete klutz. when did she forget how to move and how to talk? shit. ‘’I don’t need flowers,’’ she quickly answered. but knew that every girl wanted flowers, her too. but… this was so out of character, this was so out of her comfort zone it wasn’t even funny. ‘’well. it could be a date. or it could be a ball and we do the date some other time…’’ what was she saying? this could be her exit? just say this is a date and then she will never have to see him again. she remained silent, though.

he was somehow just looking at her, too struck with everything she was saying to even be able to find the proper response. he was probably wide-eyed, just listening and trying to make sense out of things. because no one has ever said anyone like that to him. because no one has ever made him feel so… everything. it was almost like his heart was melting a little as she talked and he wanted to say something but then he didn’t because he didn’t want to ruin it. ”you are making sense,” he finally managed to smile widely at her, even though the tone of his voice was calmer than usual. ”and perry… thank you,” he added after a short pause.

”of course you don’t need flowers!” he nodded in the next moment and mused. ”I mean, flowers are like saying ‘here, I killed those perfectly good flowers for you’. and you don’t need them! but they are still nice!” of course she didn’t need them, but she was most certainly getting them. and since roses were too conventional, he will bring her… sunflowers! yes, sunflowers will be perfect. he looked at her when she spoke again and interrupted him making plans in his mind. he smiled widely. ”oh that is just perfect!” he announced. that was his lucky day! he was taking her to a ball and he was also taking her out on a completely different occasion? it was awesome! ”I am very happy about all of that!” he declared and looked at her. ”this also feels like a good moment for a hug. can I hug you? please? I want to hug you,” he nodded in agreement with his words and before she could even say anything or give him permission, he just moved and did it with the biggest smile on his face.

she shrugged and looked down as she slowly pulled her hand away from his. she entwined her fingers in her lap, playing with the little silver ring she was wearing. it had a little ruby crystal in the middle. very tiny. her aunt gave it to her when she was seven, said it reminded her of perry. little firecracker. little flame. he didn’t need to thank her, she should be the one thanking him. he did so much for her and he probably didn’t even know it. she appreciated last night so much. and the fact she let him… hold her. that was pretty big in her world. she rarely gave hugs and received them even less frequently. yet the warmth of his embrace was all she needed that evening.

she nodded through his flowers debate and kept her eyes averted. ‘’I am sorry for being… difficult,’’ she spoke up somewhere in the middle of his happy-thoughts sharing and finally looked up at him. ‘’I’m not used to people being genuinely nice to me or wanting to spend time with me. and you did it. it was genuine. just because. without any… well, hidden intentions,’’ she went on talking and all the words… they were hard for her. she never spoke much, because she refused to put effort in people that will simply walk away and eventually the memories will fade. they won’t disappear, just fade. ‘’please… don’t make me regret this,’’ she gave him a small soft smile. behind of it complete trust was hidden. this was big. this was huge. and when he requested a hug she scooted closer and hugged him without shying away.

he frowned a little when she spoke again; he wasn’t really capable of totally grasping the meaning behind her words. well, he just refused to acknowledge the fact that she might’ve been a little difficult. ”well don’t say that,” he finally spoke, his voice soft and there was a tiny smile on his face. ”you don’t need to be sorry for anything, okay? okay. I’m glad we sorted this out!” he nodded in agreement with her words. she was… so amazing; by now he fully got that. and when he looked at her he knew what he really wanted and that was her. he was so used to the thought that he has a crush on his best friend that this was entirely new, but right now the whole mindy thing didn’t even matter. it was just perry.

”yeah, I like you, that is the hidden agenda,” he mused and then shrugged. ”I should’ve played it cooler and all, but I never was that guy. it’s just that… I really really think you are amazing and I wanna spend time with you; it is as simple as that,” he smiled because it really was amazing how she managed to totally occupy his mind over those past few weeks. he looked at her when she spoke again and then he nodded. ”I solemnly swear I will do my best not to!” he said; there was commitment to those words. and then he hugged her and she was so close and he wanted to make himself comfortable in that hug and he moved a little and in the next moment her face was really close and he was getting lost in her eyes and she was really pretty from close up and his eyes wandered lower to her lips for just a second.

‘’no. I was wrong. I was… very much wrong,’’ she insisted in a manner that made one think the words held another meaning. they did in a way. she rarely admitted her mistakes, maybe it was even rare for her to make one. she was always so cautious there was no room for them. she surrounded herself with safe and plain, it worked for her for so long. whenever she removed the tiny pieces of soft safety cotton, everything came rushing at her with full force and kicked her to the ground. ‘’yeah. I know that. that you like me,’’ she nodded and tried to stifle the smile but failed. it felt good. to be liked. for the right reasons.

‘’no. I think that if you’ve played it cooler, things would deviate in a very different direction,’’ she corrected him. if he came on to her as some refined player… he wouldn’t even get a sentence out. she would cock block him so hard it would permanently crush his ego. after his ‘solemnly swear’, made in a very harry potter manner, she went in for a hug. her head snuggled into the crook of his neck as her arms enclosed around his upper body. ‘’hm,’’ came out. this was nice, was added somewhere in her head. she looked up for a fraction of a second and just in time noticed his eyes flicker down at her lips. ‘’I should go,’’ she immediately let go and pulled away. panicked, really. ‘’um. well. I’ll see you on the big night. um. yes. well. thank you again,’’ she rushed it through and stood up quickly to leave.

a part of him understood that this was a big thing for her. that she wasn’t the type of person to just admit their mistakes – he had no problems with that, he usually just blurted everything out when asked or when he felt the need to do so, but she was different. and he just nodded to show her he understood what she was saying; because honestly, he couldn’t find words. ”okay, perry. and that I most certainly do,” he mused because by now probably everyone knew. he wasn’t really trying to hide his emotions or anything like that anyway.

he had to chuckle when he heard her next words. ”let’s be honest here. can you imagine me playing something – anything – cool? it wouldn’t work. I can’t play things cool. I’m not a cool guy,” he admitted even though she probably knew that much by now. he was very open about pretty much everything. the little ‘hm’ she made did bring a little smile on his lips and melt his heart a little because it felt very nice and he was very happy all of a sudden. he was taking perry to the dance! how amazing was that? and then oops. she caught him looking at her lips. damn! ”perry,” he said, maybe wanting to apologize but she was already pulling away and he sighed. great job! ”well I will see you soon,” he said and waved after her as he watched her hurry away.


done!