tag, the kind professor



Her knees were weak, her entire body shaking, her lips trembling as she made her way over the thin walking path over the overgrown meadow. Some of the sharp grass incised into her bare legs, she could feel them but at that point she couldn't stop. The trauma she had just been through, she felt as if it was chasing her over the meadow, as if she needed to get to, well, somewhere safe, so that they couldn't reach her any longer. She was tipsy, she didn't feel quite sober, no doubt because someone poured something into her drink – but she understood the seriousness and gravity of the situation. She knew what happened to her and every time her thoughts even remotely brought it up, tears started to run down her cheeks. She could barely see straight and she felt completely exhausted, her hand grabbing tight of her short dress on her chest, where it had been ripped in two. Every time she let out a sound it felt as if she was going to cough out her lungs and her other internal organs; god, she felt like she was going to die. And because she couldn't move any longer, she fell onto the concrete beneath her, only now realizing she was on campus grounds, as if knowing no crazy frat boys would ever come here on a night like this. And so she stayed on the ground, weeping like a child, trying to catch her breath and being extremely unable to do so. She could die tonight and she wouldn't mind, she sure as hell wouldn't. she could die tonight and she'd be glad, because she knew she could never come to terms with what happened to her tonight. Never. She could still feel her head pushed to the side, into the pillow where she could barely breath, she could still remember the faul smell of the guys that.. No, she couldn't even finish that thought without crying out loud like a wounded animal.

leonie  

It was late. Absolutely too late for him to be wandering around campus, but he's gotten so used to doing all his work in the office, he rarely took any home. Surely, it must have been one of the best decisions he's even made, because working hard all week resulted in his weekends being extremely laid back. It was getting chilly as he walked past one of the fraternities, trying to recall some awesome memories of him being a student. He wasn't a typical frat twat, but when in came to booze, he was the first to start chugging it down and last falling down completely wasted.

He wasn't even able to take it all in and regret the fact that college years passed by so quickly, because there was this muttered sound coming all the way across the road. Thinking it was probably just another knackered frat, he kept on going, but as the cries got louder, the perception got clearer and clearer. A scrawny and pretty much naked blonde having a hard time crawling, let alone walking, and the first thing that came to mind was running to her and saving her. She was in no way his responsibility, but he's always talked about being there for his students, sober or not. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked gently at first, trying not to scare her in the dark, but seeing her blood-red eyes all bawled out and her dress ripped, answered his question. She wasn't. She was far from okay. Far from decent even. "Oh, god, can you stand up? Let me help you."
   

tag, the kind professor



She barely heard him over the loud sobbing the first time, but as he came closer she could hear his voice and it made her feel just that more uncomfortable, as she tried to mumble something out, anything, really, but between the loud groans and the tears running down her face, between the loud weeping and the sniffles, she could barely even raise her face to see who was speaking to her, let alone mutter a word or two. As she finally caught his eyes, she grabbed for the dress even more firmly, as if afraid he might be another to pull it off from her and do the unspeakable things those asshole frat guys did to her. At that point, everything was simply.. disgusting. The frat parties, all the sudden they seemed to make her sick to her stomach, the bare thought of hot guys made her tremble and the idea of someone touching her made her more afraid than ever before. »No,« she cried out and pushed her body a bit back, away from the stranger she recognised to be one of the professors. He didn't know her, he wasn't her teacher, she wasn't his student – she remembered she thought he was hot once. Now she was terrified of him. »No, please, I don't–« Her muffled voice got carried away in between long sobs, and she couldn't form the sentence. She didn't want help although she was in desperate need of it. She didn't even really know where she was, she had no idea how to get to where she was going – and she wanted to leave this god damn island more than she wanted anything in her life. »I'm fine,« she then whispered when she got herself to stop crying for a few seconds, just so that he would leave her alone. Because – even if he had no bad intentions what so ever – she didn't want anyone to see her like this. She was the queen that finally lost her crown.

leonie  

He's never been in a situation like this before, yes, he's seen guys sobbing like little girls when they failed history, or girls tearfully explaining how their love life kept them from turning in their essay on Romans, but this … this was just another level of complicated. "Jeez, just let me, okay, look at yourself," he raised his voice, but the more he looked at her the more he knew shouting would not help. She was hurt, she was in a really, really bad state and in no way only alcohol did that. "Who did this to you … girl. I'm afraid I'll have to call the police, shit, god damn it," he kept on mumbling into his beard, as the mysterious girl insisted she was just fine. Just fine, when in reality she was in pieces, her dress completely torn, dirt behind her fingernails … and well, he couldn't just go, even though that happened to be the only thing she was asking for.

"God, you're not fine. Tell me your name, what's your name? I'll take you … I'll take you somewhere, you're cold … it's cold and you're … you're all dirty," his words made no sense at all, but he really just wanted to pick her up and call 911. Or Georgia, the nurse, she could fix it, she'd know better than him. She'd know what to do in his place, with a girl literally falling apart before him. He got down on his knees, their eyes on the same level now, taking her cold hand in his, squeezing it lightly and with special care, hoping to give her the reassurance she needed to trust him. "Trust me, okay. I teach here, I'm a teacher, lets get you home."
   

tag, the kind professor



As she could hear the sharpness and intensity in his voice raise, she immediately started weeping with no sense of control again; she felt as if after everything she had been through, someone still felt the need to show her who's the boss. And the feeling was nothing short of terrible. She would rather slit her wrists than speak another word with this man who obviously felt obligated to show her how powerful he was over her in her already completely weakened state, but his next words made her sobbing stop, her eyes caught his in a blink of a second, there was no way she was going to let him do that. »No,« she whispered in a sort of sharp determination; at that point, even she was quite taken aback from the fact that she still had a small piece of strength hidden in that weak body of hers, the kind that cut through the cold breeze of the night like a knife. »No, please,« she sounded less and less determined, but something was quite obvious; she was in no condition to talk about what happened, not to anyone, especially not to the police. She didn't want anyone to know, even this.. even this unknown professor knew too much already and she couldn't let anyone else see her like this. She just.. she just needed to get to her room, pack her stuff and disappear into the night. »I, uh, I–« she murmured, her forehead frowned, as if, for a moment, she wasn't even sure who she was. She was Leonie Marie Kaiser no longer, she was no longer the princess on the steeple. She had no pride, no dignity left. The Leonie she knew would never fall onto her knees and sob like this, especially not in front of a complete stranger. But this.. this wasn't her anymore. »Leonie,« she finally responded, her eyes filled with pesky tears again. Everything about this god damn night felt so.. hard and painful. »I'm Leonie.« Her entire body hurt. Her breasts felt like they were about to explode, her wrists felt as if they were run over by a truch. Her neck hurt. He reached for her hand and she twitched, but she didn't move away this time. She looked at him. »Okay,« she whispered in blind faith.

leonie  

All he could hear were noes muffed by some more weeping and sniffing, and he knew there was more to this, than what he's already imagined. Now that he's stopped and actually offered to help, he felt responsible for this girl and he more than anything wanted to hurt whoever's hurt her. Break some arms, cut some balls off, whatever really. "Okay, no police then, but you will do as I say, alright?" he softened his tone as he reached out to her and gently touched her wet cheek. God, she was such a beautiful girl, who could have possible done such a terrible thing to her.

"So, Leonie, you say. Will you do me a favour?" It was like speaking to a child, but must have been doing something right, because it seemed she'd stopped crying as soon as his voice got nicer. "Will you get up for me? can you stand?" he then made sure he wasn't asking for something she wasn't able to do, but with a little bit of help, she was on her feet - her arms still wrapped around her tiny body, trying to keep last bits of her dress covering her bare torso. "Come on, let me carry you, while you show me the way. Lets get you home safely, Leonie," he held her underarm as she stumbled standing up. He knew she had no intentions to speak of whatever has happened to her, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know if she'll be alright, he wanted her to be safe and he wanted to make sure this never happens again. "Where were you when … when this happened?"
   

tag, the kind professor



She didn't even understand why, but a soft voice came from his lips, agreeing to what he had just said with a »Yes. Yes, I will.« A sense of trust immediately took over her heart and she could feel her body cooling down, slowly trembling less and less as he came closer and closer to her. It didn't make much sense to her, she didn't even know this man, yet somehow he gave her a feeling of familiarity, something she really needed at the time. perhaps it was the fact that he so simply agreed to not calling the police, perhaps the fact he understood that harsh words would only wound her more, whatever it was, it worked. She felt more at ease now. »I..« She gazed at him for a blind moment, as if trying to process the simple words, then she nodded before he spoke again, and then she nodded once more, even a bit astounded by his sincere concern for her well-being. She tried to get up as he asked of her, failing at the first try, her legs hurt gravely, she felt as if she was torn between them, she felt as if she might bleed out from her inside, as she once again remembered how forcefully she was invaded a while back. The memories were so fresh she could taste them and once again she lost herself, tears running down her cheeks, silent ones this time; she was trying really hard to keep focused, to carry on, to stay in the now and to not let all the pain take over her mind and body again.. but it was truly easier said than done. She never imagined it could happen to her. She was way better than this. »I – I'm at the Kappa house,« she murmured through the silent tears, leaning onto him with almost all her weight, as her legs at the time felt like rocks, like gigantic rocks she couldn't move even if she tried really hard. And then he raised her from the ground and she almost felt like an angel floating in mid-air, the harsh weight of the world disappearing for a second or two. She let her head fall onto his shoulder, she clinged closer to him to feel safer. »At a stupid party,« she replied and the sobbing continued, »at the delta house. But please, don't..« Don't tell. Don't tell anyone.

leonie  

He was surprised by how quickly she grew on his skin, it must have been the fact that she seemed like a lost pup in the middle of nowhere, someone that was in a desperate need of help, someone that will need ages to actually get fixed on the inside. Her words were still muffled by the constant sobs and he couldn't quite grasp how broken and hurt she actually was, but he only had one goal - to help her, in whatever way possible. "Good girl," he gently caressed her hair and she willingly stood up next to him, collecting as much strength as she possibly could. "Everything's going to be alright, honey, it gets better," he tried with a cheery tone, but he knew it will take time. It will take all the time in the world to forget something like that.

"Okay, the Kappa house, where is that," he mumbled a question to himself, trying to orientate on the grounds he didn't know all that well. "We'll get you there, no worries. Would you like … would you like me to contact your parents, Leonie?" It was the only thing he could think of right now. She probably needed someone to hug her, to just love her with all their being, and only parents could do that. Only they will know what to say to their daughter to make it all better, and with that in mind, he realised she needed to leave. She would never heal and get over if, if she stayed here. "Don't worry about it, please. I'll deal with that, with the Deltas. let's just focus on bringing you home safe." And he picked her up, light as a feather, carried her all the way to the house that was on the other side of the campus, whispering kind words into her ear that kept her from bawling again.
   

tag, the kind professor



She pressed her head closer to his chest, her tears owerflowing his shirt that smelled of laundry detergent and deodorant. She didn't really want to flood his shirt all the way through, so she – again – tried to keep her tears behind her eyes, as much as it was possible at the time, anyway. It felt so freakish, hearing that everything will get better. In what possible reality? She knew well enough that things would never be the same again, that a part of her was now broken to the point where she was almost.. too wrecked to fix. How could he say that eveything was going to get better, if.. if the very ground she walked on felt like the fires of hell? She kind of tilted her head to the side to show the direction of the house, not being very efficient at all as she doubted he even saw what she was trying to point at. He'll get the hang of it, she thought. He was a professor, she thought, he knew what to do, he was going to help her get through this satanic night. »I, uh,« she murmured, her face frowned again as if tring real hard to focus on what he was asking her. She wasn't sure she wanted her mom and her dad to know.. but at the same time, she never quite wanted anything as much as she wanted to go home. Right now, this very second. if it was possible to transform herself through time and space and just end up on the doormat of their villa in Nurnberg, she would. »I just want to go home,« she whispered in a fragile matter, her eyes meeting his for a split second before she looked away again. It took them quite a while to get where they were going, but she could almost feel the salty smell in her nose when they reached the villa on the beach, the one she knew so very well. No lights were turned on; no one was here, the biggest party of the century was going on at that god forsaken frat house. »I want to leave today,« she added with her broken voice, again looking at him, this time directly into his eyes, only now realizing her tears pretty much dried up in the meanwhile. »Thank you, professor.«

leonie  

He felt her tears drying up as she wrapped her hands around him and he could only draw her closer into his arms. It was much like holding a wounded animal, but he was positive it will all end well. He would get Deltas in trouble, for whatever they've done, excessive drinking if no one believes the real story behind it. "Thought so, everything will work out just fine, you'll see. It'll take time, though, your precious time, but you're young and you can live it through, I'm sure of it, you're a strong girl," they finally reached her sorority villa and he set her down, patting her upper arms in reassurance.

"You know what, I'm not really in a hurry. If you're leaving now, I'll call you a can and make sure you leave safely. But … but when you do get back … when you're ready to return, I'd love to speak to you," he smiled widely at her, despite the awful situation she's had to go through. Her shaking was definitely under control now, and she was probably just extremely relieved to be leaving the island, when she finally climbed into the car roughly an hour later. It'll be a shock for her parents when she knocks at the door before the semester even ended, but she was in no way able to stay here, around people that have obviously disappointed her and let her down. "Take care, Leonie," was the last thing he spoke to her, to the girl he either helped or killed.

-fin