tag; hazel

something was wrong. he was sure he didn't do anything to make her change her mind and she seemed fine when she left his room the next morning. they made plans to meet in the evening, go to the movies, casual simple date stuff. but then she called in the afternoon and asked for a rain check. they picked another day and she cancelled then also. and the third one as well. fourth one too. fourth one was supposed to be tonight but this time he wasn't taking no for an answer anymore. something was bugging her and something was stopping her from going on that date with him. therefore he planned to find out what because puzzles like this annoyed the hell out of him. he had a bag of take-out thai food in one hand and a few rented DVD movies in the other. one of her sorority sisters opened the doors and let him in with a knowing smile on her lips. he didn't care at all about all sorts of rumors this visit may cause. the night she spent at his room was already a major news-breaker. he followed her instructions and climbed the stair, made a turn on the right hallway and stopped in front of room number twelve. soft music was heard from the inside and he had to knock again before he heard some movement on the other side. the steps were coming closer and closer and then the door opened in front of him. ''i have food and i have a few movies. and we're having a date in your room. if you don't want to go out with me, then i will go in with you,'' he smiled and stepped inside before she had the opportunity to shut the door closed.

she was wearing a dress which would be perfectly fine if it weren’t for the bruises. those covered her arms and were a bitter reminder of that night. he was still pondering about it, thinking constantly what could he do to make it better. he couldn’t change anything but he could prevent it from happening again. but she kept ditching him at last minute and there was no real opportunity to see her face to face. until now. he lifted his eyes away from bruised patches of skin and smiled again when he noticed the surprise. ‘’you’re home. good. I was afraid you would be running around, doing errands or something similar. you sounded awfully busy the past week. cancelling our dates and so on…’’ he continued but he was really just mocking her. there was no way she was that busy. something was up and he was intent on finding out what. ‘’I’m here to have a date with you. we were supposed to go eat something and see a movie. but since you cancelled four times, I decided to do something about it. you’re a terrible liar and those excuses were just painful. so we’ll have a date in your room,’’ he explained again in the most innocent possible voice. as if this wasn’t some sort of a master plan. ‘’you’re sorry? nah, you aren’t,’’ he stepped closer and set the bags on the nearest cupboard along with the DVD’s. his hands were finally free and were now cupping her face. ‘’but you will. also, that dress is beautiful. perfect for this date,’’ he kept on smiling as his lips brushed first her lips and then her cheek but he settled for a kiss on her forehead. for now. ‘’but first things first… what’s wrong? what’s up with all the cancelling and postponing?’’ he went straight to the business.

‘’well. then you can make it up with me by putting on a smile and joining me for awesome thai food, right?’’ he went on smiling as if she hadn’t cancelled their date four times in a row. ‘’it worked out perfectly then, right? me moving the date to your house?’’ his thumbs were brushing her cheekbones and she was holding on to his wrists. if he ignored the bruises on her arms, this was perfect. of course it would be even better if she would let him take her out, but one couldn’t have anything, right? ‘’as for the movies I selected some random ones out, you can pick whatever you want to see,’’ he pointed towards the small pile of DVDs and then slowly nodded when he got an answer out of her right away. with her he could always count on not beating around the bush. she wasn’t someone who played games or hid things. ‘’you talked to eva,’’ he repeated with a knowing tone. this will be bad. but he can fix this. ‘’that explains everything. you shouldn’t talk to angry exes,’’ he laughed half-heartedly and then sat down at the nape of her bed and pulled her down beside him. he captured one of her hands into the both of his and kept it there. ‘’I will never understand what’s her problem. she was the one who broke up with me and she’s still painting me as the bad guy,’’ he continued while looking down at her pale fingers. ‘’but I can imagine some of the things she said. and I guess we should talk about them,’’ he nodded, this were his intentions from the beginning. ‘’it would be the best if you just asked me what you want to know…’’ he carefully looked her way. ‘’she said something about noelle? about me being a cold hearted prick? something among those lines?’’ he didn’t really know what lies she was filled with, he needed to concentrate on one by one at the time.

‘’oh. so I made your heart skip a beat? that’s cheesy… but I’ll take it,’’ he dropped his gaze to the floor. he had no idea how to do this whole dating thing. it always happened somehow naturally and he never had to actually make an effort. those few girlfriends he had it was completely spontaneous and completely out of his hands. ‘’we’ll decide together, after ‘the talk’,’’ he sighed as they sat down. her hand was soft between his palms and he kept focus on that. ‘’it’s not her place to say these things to you when she doesn’t even understand them. it’s wrong,’’ he shook his head. yes, they dated. but she dumped him and now she talked thrashed about him around campus? that was messed up and childish. ‘’okay. I should start explaining. because I want to. because I want you to understand and to not make the same assumptions she and other people did,’’ he carried on. he could really get used to this. her hand in his. ‘’there’s always some talk going around about me and noelle. we’ve known each other since we were kids and our nannies raised us. we’ve been side by side since diapers,’’ he was carefully picking out his words and he was as honest as he could be. ‘’and we grew up close. she was my first kiss and it was sloppy as hell. and then… we were never together, we never kissed, nothing ever happened. but we do spend a lot of time together and occasionally we do seem like an old married couple,’’ there it was. the main thing that most people thought made them a potential couple. but she always dated other guys and yes, it hurt him most of the time. but then he met hazel. it changed. ‘’I think I liked her. or the idea of her. but I’m tired of that. she’s doing her own thing and she couldn’t be more different from me,’’ he concluded, his eyes intently on hers: ‘’now I met someone. the whole noelle thing is over. she’s just a best friend.’’

''she’s okay. she’s quite a social butterfly. very unlike me,’’ he nodded and let the silence take over for a few moments. it still felt uncomfortable to talk about noelle with people. mostly because he was simply used to everyone coming to their own conclusions. but hazel seemed to understand, he just wondered if she also understood what was implied between the lines – that in the past his best friend really was also his crush. nowadays he believed it was due to everyone’s pressure, everyone pushing them together, but it wasn’t always like this. maybe he really felt something for her, but his feelings now for someone else were definitely much clearer. whether they were also stronger… time will tell. ‘’thank you,’’ he nodded at her compliment. he made a good friend when he tried. but most people didn’t reach the friendship zone, only a few. noelle and zoey for example. and hazel snuck in there quite soon and efficiently also. ‘’that was the talk. unless there’s something more you want to know. anyhow, feel free to ask anything at any time,’’ he slowly let go of her hand and looked up at her always so wide eyes. it seemed that each time he did so, something moved within him. it was another one of those cheesy thoughts he wasn’t used to, but it was true. she was perfect. too perfect. ‘’about you? hm, let me see,’’ he took the bait and stood up from the bed, walking towards the cupboard where he previously dropped all of his ‘gifts’. ‘’well, was eva the only reason you kept cancelling our date?’’ he threw a look over his shoulder and started to go through the movies. they were all pretty… ordinary. nothing special. maybe he should’ve paid better attention to what he was renting out of the video store. ‘’also, what do you say if you dig into those bags of thai and I’ll set up a random movie?’’ he suggested and picked up one of the cases. the breakfast club from the 80s it is. better this than gladiator.

‘’okay,’’ he slowly nodded. so this was all? this was the big talk he was secretly so afraid of. well, he thought it went well but only time will tell. with these things you never really know. sometimes they appear completely clear and comprehensive. and then it all turns around and suddenly your fighting over the exact thing you talked over month ago. ‘’I don’t want to scare you. or freak you out,’’ he replied. ‘’and yes, I’m new to this too. it usually just sort of… happened. it’s something else now. I’m not even sure how to explain it and that’s incredible since I usually have an answer for pretty much everything,’’ this time he had to laugh. it was amazing how out of his field he was. she amazed him in every possible way and despite babbling on and on about nonsense he was speechless. he had no idea how to do this or what to say. ‘’I do. I definitely like you too,’’ he nodded and partially repeated her confession. it was impossible not to. ‘’it’s scary,’’ he then summarized it all and then played around with the dvd and the television. he was exactly a tech wiz which often came as a surprise. apparently everyone who understood science was supposed to master the computers, programming and all similar technology. ‘’I’m sorry to invade your room like this,’’ he murmured while turning the screen on. he grabbed a remote control and turned around back to her: ‘’actually, I take that back. I’m not sorry.’’ if he could just make up his mind, it would be great. the television was now playing and he managed to get it all to the opening credits. he turned the volume slightly down and then walked towards the bed where she was. ‘’you know what? what if we both agree to push nervousness aside. pretend this is not even a date. it’s just us. an experiment in the lab, I guess that would make us comfortable?’’ he was now standing next to her and looking down: ‘’now, if we were standing like this in the laboratory… should we do this backwards also? should I kiss you now or before I leave?’’

‘’like I said. it is scary,’’ he nodded, his mind going in a thousands of different directions. he didn’t think past the moment he appeared on her door. didn’t think what to do then. it was a lovely plan indeed. eating thai food and watching a movie, a date without going outside. he was sure this will make her feel more comfortable but he had no idea what to do, now that she actually accepted him into her room and wanted to participate. ‘’I’m pretty sure we’re doing this completely wrong. we were supposed to make awkward jokes and accidentally touch each other and maybe throw in a flirt joke or two. but I think it’s working,’’ he then spoke up, a small shadow of a smile on his lips. this was out of his field of experience and yet it was nothing new. she was different and therefore everything was different. he didn’t want to disappoint her. ever. ‘’we’ll figure it out. that’s what we do, right? we figure things out,’’ the smile became wider when she noticed her cautiously watching her. this would make a great sitcom. to some extent even he thought they were hilarious, drifting on the border of what was proper and what they wanted. maybe even felt. this didn’t feel like a first date, to be honest. it seemed they were long past dates which was absurd since they only shared one kiss. one quick yet memorable kiss. ‘’it isn’t. it’s just a date. nothing special. completely casual, ordinary…’’ he started lining adjectives to describe the normality of everything when she did it again. they were standing close, he should’ve expected her impulses to kick in again. her lips were on his and they felt divine. it didn’t last nearly enough. ‘’ah, you keep on doing that…’’ he murmured, still feeling her breath on him as she didn’t move away. he embraced her around her torso, pulling her impossibly closer. ‘’always?’’ he gently chuckled and caught himself nodding in agreement. it wasn’t too forward, it was right. ‘’you couldn’t be bad at this even if you did your worst,’’ his lips closed around her thumb, pressing a kiss there. he cupped her face with his right hand, leaning her head a little backwards, looking down at her eyes. ‘’thai, hazel. movie,’’ he said but did nothing towards that. this time he used the precious opportunity by going there first. he didn’t rush at all, his lips slowly brushed hers, encouraging them apart. they lingered over her lower lip, barely nipping it with his teeth. hell, he could do this for that ‘always’, he really could.

she was smiling and giggling but at the mention of pickup lines he stared at her slightly in shock. of course, pickup lines. ‘’we do?’’ a question followed. but yes, guys usually used pickup lines at clubs and in public places. most of them were really sappy and plain pathetic. ‘’I don’t know any pickup lines. but I should probably come up with one or two? something that will be adapted to you. so something scientific. something with chromosomes. shit, are there any pickup lines with chromosomes?’’ he started thinking out loud and slowly it probably got clear to her that he was joking. however, he was sure that there just needed to be some pickup lines for all the geeks and nerds and science freaks over the world. ‘’that about sums up how I feel too,’’ he nodded. calming but completely unnerving at the same time. maybe they were just looking for solid ground to stand upon. they knew that there was something, but hadn’t find it yet. because that would mean putting a name to all of this – to them. and he wasn’t sure himself what exactly was going on. he liked her. beyond liked. really liked her. but so little time has passed since they met and it felt somehow… surreal. to feel this way, this intense, about someone you barely knew. ‘’yeah, I figured that out. I’m glad it isn’t,’’ he smiled. he loved that about her – that she was like no one else he met before. she did her own thing and didn’t try to assimilate to others, to fit in. she didn’t even fully realize that she stood out. when she moved away he had the need to follow her but he stopped before two kisses would turn into hundreds. he sharply nodded and then lowered down on the bed. he rested his back against the back wall, next to her and cradled the thai food in his lap. ‘’no. you’re still watching me instead of the screen,’’ he chuckled and handed one of the oyster pails to her. ‘’I know,’’ he murmured back and opened the pail with noodles: ‘’don’t look at me like that, hazel. we’re focusing on eating and watching the movie now. I can’t do that if you’re looking at me like that.’’

he tried to force his gaze to the television screen only, where the intro was already playing. but she made it impossibly hard. ‘’well, you should be looking at the screen. there’s a movie going on. we’re watching the movie now,’’ he was going for his most serious tone but it was hopeless to dictate his lips into anything but a smile. so the corner of his mouth were turning up and then he had to look back at her. ‘’like you want me to kiss you again. because I do want to kiss you again, however that’s not a very smart idea. because there is thai food and a movie and this is basically our first date. we should do it properly. no more kissing until… I don’t know when…’’ he wanted to set a time frame but that was a hard thing to do when she was being all smiley and beautiful.

- later -

the pails of food were on the night stand and somewhere during the movie he laid his arm around her and she cuddled closer. however now she was completely still and her hand was on his chest. the movies ending credits were still rolling and she wasn’t moving. he carefully tried to shake her just a tad. ‘’hazel,’’ he murmured her name and took her hand away from his chest. ‘’wakey wakey,’’ he moved further down the bed, his face now aligned to hers. now he was the one pushing runaway strands of her hair behind. ‘’hazel, you fell asleep. the movies has ended,’’ he tried again and finally got some movement from her. it would probably the best if he would insist on shaking her and poking her. however she seemed so peaceful. he leaned forward, kissing her sleeping face. first the forehead. the tip of her nose. her cheek. the corner of her lips. her lips. ‘’I’ll have to go,’’ he whispered after pulling slightly away.

her eyelashes fluttered a little and that’s when he knew he finally managed to arose her from sleep. she seemed so peaceful, but he didn’t want to simply leave without saying goodbye. and he couldn’t simply stay without permission. but it would be so easy to fell asleep beside her, just like once before. the circumstances were different now however. most certainly he didn’t want to cause her problems in case someone at her villa would frown upon guys spending the night her. he wasn’t sure what kind of a policy the other sororities and fraternities had. ‘’you fell asleep, but it’s okay,’’ he quickly said and smiled as she apologized again. he will really have to break that habit of hers, there was no need for constant unnecessary apologies. she was perfect the way she was and she didn’t need to apologize for every tiny trait she had. he stopped when her hand grabbed his. bossy. ‘’you’re bossy,’’ he turned his thoughts into words as he chuckled when looking down to the grip she had on him. ‘’it’s late. and… you’re obviously tired,’’ he explained and his eyes were now searching hers. for nothing in particular to be honest. ‘’well, I don’t regret anything,’’ he said back and the moment she started to let go of his hand, he was the one who caught hers before she could fully pull away. ‘’there will be other… evening like this. at least I think so. I mean, I hope so. and then you can try to stay awake for a little longer. I don’t mind you falling asleep curled around me like that, though,’’ he was looking down at the entwined fingers. ‘’you are perfect,’’ he smiled, leaning forward now, lips brushing against hers once more. he let go of her hand and pulled her whole body closer, never once separating his lips from hers. perfect, that was the accurate word.