from the stage where all the lights were pointed towards her she couldn't see much, hardly anything to be honest. but she saw him lifting the bidding sign everytime someone raised her price and she couldn't help smiling through redness on her cheecks that was caused by her nervousness. and then she was allowed to leave the stage because he had bought her and it was finally over.

waiting for him, she quickly exchanged few words with alec, not entirely sure why since she was still mad at him. but he was looking so pale standing there on his own she had to say something, even though it was just a few impersonal words and a weak smile. it hurt to act this way towards her best friend, she felt strangely alone without him by her side. she turned away just in time to catch a glance of ricardo leaving the backstage. she frowned, not sure what just happened. wasn't he supposed to pick her up here and take her… well, somewhere? confused, she followed him to the balcony where she found him leaning on the fence. »ricardo?« she asked, suddenly uncertain of herslef. whad did she do to make him walk away? »is… is anything wrong?«

she could feel something wasn't right but she couldn't put her finger on it. it started as a bad feeling lying low in her stomach just before she saw him leaving and it only grew stronger as she followed him. »what?« she asked as he murmured something she didn't understand and made another step towards him. he wouldn't look at her and it was making her nervous, so she moved to the spot right next to him, leaning on the fence and trying to see his face so she could maybe, just maybe see what was going on because honestly, she had no idea. »kind of?« there was suprise in her voice as she repeated after him. what was going on? the last time she saw him was when she woke up right next to him and it was one of the most wonderful moments of her life, even though she had a horrible hangover she didn't know how to deal with. she thought they were – well, she didn't know what they were, but they were finally going along okay. but it must be something she made up in her mind again since something was clearly not okay. »what?« she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but the look on his face hurt her more than she cared to admit, even to herselft. »what boyfriend? rico, what are you talking about?« it wasn't the best reaction, but she was getting angry at him. couldn't he just say what was bothering him?

»how can i 'just forget it' when you are standing there all grumpy?« his bad mood was getting to her and she wasn't the person who could handle it quietly. not when he clealy refused to talk about it, even though it was obviously making him miserable. men and their crazy logic. she wasn't used to this side of him so she had practically no idea what to do? should she talk to him, nice and gently, figuring what was on his mind? well, even if she should, with her temper rising she was way past that. oh god, how could he be so goddamn stubborn? she had told him, on several ocassions, actually, that she had practically no experiance whatsoever with men, so she had no idea what she shoud do and what she did wrong. and he never told her anything, so how the hell could she know?

and then when he (by some miracle) started talking, all she was able to do for a few second was stare at him, her mouth left half open. what – the – actual – fuck? she never, never swore, but this was out of her limits. »are you serious?« as she spoke her hands moved on her own because that's just what she did when she was mad. »you're pouting like a foruteen-year-old girl because you saw me talking to alec?« what was this, some massive joke the universe decided to play on her? »you stupid, stupid idiot. you've heard that future husband reference, but ignored everything i told you about us fighting and not talking an oh, i don't know, maybe the fact that he has a girlfriend?« and if her memory served her right, it was only seconds after that she askeh him to hug her, wich was practically inviting her into her bed. honestly, how stupid was he?

»i don't 'have to' do anything if i don't want to!« perharps there were better ways to say this, but she didn't really care at the moment. god, he made her blood boil in her weins with only few words and a single glance in her direction. »well, that's a bit hard to explain since you won't tell me what the heck is bothering you so much!« her hands clenched into fists and she was hardly controlling herself. honestly, all she wanted to do was scream untill he realized what a jackass he was. it was obvious something mush have bothered him for quite some thime now but he never said anything right untill now when it was just too much to handle. typical, bloody typical. why couldn't he just make it simple and tell her? »oh, god, you! since i am apparently too stupid to get it, how about you explain it to me?« if she was sensitive about anything it was someone hinting she was stupid and in her opinion it was exactly what he did right now. and she was not stupid, but she also couldn't read his mind, coud she? and then with his words it all started coming together, slowly, like when you find the key piece in the puzzle. »are you serious?« really? he was [i]jealous[/]? because she was speaking to alec? »aghhh, you, you - « she couldn't even find the words for him, that's how stupid this charade was. »if you wouldn't turn around at the first sight of it, you might found out i was just saying hi, because i saw my best friend was panicking! he almost had a goddamn panick attack and all i said was hi!« and she felt terrible for it, for not being able to let it all go and just be his friend again. but right now she didn't have energy to feel down about it, since she was arguing with the king of fools himself. and by the looks of it he had no intention of stopping anytime soon, so she did the first thing that came to her reckless, furious mind – she stepped towards him, put her hands on the side of his neck so she could hold him still and kissed him.

»can't or won't?« right after the words flew out of her mouth she wanted to take them back. what was going on? she was… she was being rude. and she was never rude, she didn't want to be. not to anyone and especially not to him. oh god, he made her feel everything so intensely. when he was making fun of her she wasn't just embarrassed, she wanted the earth to open and swallow her whole. and then the other night when he had walked (or half-carried) her home, she haven't just had fun, it had been one of the best nights in her life. and now when he was being stubborn wor what appeared to be no reason whatsoever she wasn't just annoyed, she was furious. and it was his fault, he had to be so damn charming and kind and funy and handsome and mysterious. if he wasn't she wouldn't like him as much as she did, like her whole world was turning around him all of a sudden. it was terrifying when evertything fas perfectly fine between them, but now, when they were yelling at eachother, it almost made her panick. after all, what coud he see in her? she was just some random nerd interested in weird stuff and obsessed with everything romantic. there was plenty of girls just like her, even on swanstrom and if he got bored of her he could find himself a substitute, a sweet, shy and innocent girl, probably even better looking one if he wanted to. so how could she not yell back at him? how could she not try to show him how utterly ridicolous he was for thinking she wanted anyone but him, even alec. she was just about to tell him… well, something, just to get that grumpy/miserable expression out of his face, when he broke the silence, suprising her once again. he really was jealous. it was pointless and ridicolous since she only had eyes for him ever since that incident in the tunnel, but she didn't tell him that. she was far to happy, knowing exactly what she wanted to do and was just about to finally do it, stoping only for a few words. »i want you, no, i need you to tell me the truth. always, no matter what – the truth. okay?« and then she let him babble on right until the moment she stepped on her toes to reach his lips. it was a short, sweet and innocent kiss and when he pulled away only after a few seconds of it she was afraid of his reaction. what if she was wrong? what if he didn't actually like her? but all her doubts were gone as soon as his lips reconected with her hers and she forgot everything, every single thign except for him. she lifted her hands and put them around his neck, pulling him even closer, as close as it was possible – and if it was up to her she would never let him go. not when he was finally in her arms, right where he belonged.

i'm not even trying to deny it, i love them, i shim them, they're my otp.

the way he shivered from her touch made her smile against his lips. it felt so good knowing she wasn't the only one responding to his every move and even better so knowing she could make him feel like this. she wasn't used to this, to the whole kissing and feelings thing, but with him it felt so natural and so right she just let herself forget everything except for him and the way his lips felt against hers. and it was good, so damn good she just couldn't get enough of it, of him, even though she was out of breath and she had troble standing since her knees were giving up on her. but ignoring all of that she just held on to him, close enough she could feel hiss heart beating against her chest as rapidly as hers. even as he moved away, speaking softly to her, she refused to open the eyes. it all seemed like a fairytale, to good to be true and she was afraid that opening her eyes would make it all disappear. it was only when he kissed her forehead that she looked at him, her eyes finding his as he spoke again. his first sentence made her beam with happines, but as he continued her smile was replaced by a slight frown as she shook her head in a response. her hands reached up, cupping his face as she made him look at her: »don't you say that, don't you dare saying that ever again, okay?« her voice was gentle but serious as she spoke, her eyes focusing on his the whole time. »i decide what is good enough for me and what or who i want. not my family, not you, me. and i want you.« she was quiet for a second, smiling, and then she gently brushed her thumb over his cheeck. »i like you a lot too. « she loved how careful he was around her, how much it ment for him to made it clear for her so she could understand what she was getting herselft into. but there was no need for it, she already knew what she was signing up for. she knew him, knew he was so much better than he thought it was and it was just one more thing on the list of everything she liked about him. »i don't want to be yours,« she told him then, serious at first but smiling as soon as she got the first part out. »i already am. and i'm not even giving you a choice.« she cuckled then, so ridicolously happy she would probably fly away is she wasn't still holding him, her hands dropping to his chest now. »now shut up and kiss me again before i change my mind and start telling you how stupid you are, again.«

being close to him always made her nervous and self-conscious. she felt so small and ordinary, unable to undarstand what he ever saw in her – right until the moment he kissed her back. it seemed like in that precise moment all bad thoughts ran away, back in the shadows of her subconsciousness, leaving her in his arms feeling so happy she was afraid her heart might explode in her chest. »i don't know why i want you,« she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. »i don't have a clue, but i do know i want you. and i don't care about your family background, it's you who matters, not what you have or lack.« she shook her head slightly, not entirely sure what to say to him to make him stop worrying. »look, all those feelings and stuff, i've never been good at this. i'm not even entirely sure what exactly it is that i am feeling for you so i can't really tell you why either.« she dropped her gaze for a second. she had this strong feeling she is only making everything worse with her words, but she had to let it out, she had to tell him. he was being honest with her and it was only fair she was too, so she had to tell him. »but i do know i like you and want you and that when i kissed you it was…« she didn't really know how to explaing what she was feeling so she smiled instead, giving him one of those insanely happy smiles. »kind of magical, you know? i really, really liked it.« she blushed a little, looking down again. »and as for what do i gain part, i always wanted a cuddle buddy.« she playfully winked at him, not really knowing where al this boldness was coming from. but she was so happy right now everything seemed possible, even her winking and making coments about cuddling and telling him to kiss her. she felt so safe in his arms, like nothing could ever go wrong and hurt either one of them. the playful smile was still curving her lips as she watched him going from happy to confused and a little bit shocked. »me? mean?« she tried to pull an innocent face, but it was really hard considering she just couldn't stop giggling. she wouldn't go as far as saying she was mean, but she coudn't deny being demanding. especially when the thing she wanted was his kisses. »mhmmm…« she murmured in response to his question, suddenly feeling all excited. he brushed his lips against hers, obviously teasing her and she arched her eyebrow at him, but before she had a chance to say anthing his lips finally did find hers and in the next second she was lost again. her hands reached for him, mostly because she wanted to be as close to him as possible, but also because she wasn't entirely sure she was able to stand on her own. not when his kisses were so good chocolate seemed like nothing in comparison. she had no idea whatsoever how loong they were standing there, oblivious to everything except for eacother, but at some point their lips parted and she leaned her head against her chest, listening to her heartbeat. she was completely lost in her happy bubble, right until two girls found their way to the little balcony, giggling so loud she jumped a little when they appeared. »great,« she murmured to herself, meaning exactly the opposite. »how do you feel about taking a walk?« she then asked him, not really fond of the idea of having company. she only just got got him and she wanted him for herself, at least for a couple more hours.